As I start 2019 with no work available, half a usual paycheck, (typical December/ holiday season in my line of work), observing my cold settle into my lungs and trying to prevent a sixth lifetime bout of pneumonia with deep breaths and hydration, I am grieving what I intended my New Year transition to be: Answering request to help harvest/work in food bank garden, time with daughter and nephew.
It takes all manner of patience and faith to believe in a promise of future work, and that I can finally one day break the cycle of so much life energy going to make basics work and paying debt load. Or at least that I can learn to shift my approach and attitude without going into further debt for the latest “fix your relationship with money, self, people and the universe” workshop.
I own my part in debt and own my hard work to do something about it. The one space my situation is paying off is daughter’s college applications. Having nothing combined with brilliance is a winning combo. And the reason why I believe despite it all the universe has my back is that paycheck to paycheck with nothing in bank to support two people is a miraculous existence. Everything we need is provided moment to moment.
It’s just my clinging to the idea I could speed up the process of attaining any way to retire (future worry) and release from debt oppression.
But in knitting, none of these musings matter. Knitting is a place where everything flows peacefully with ease. An abundance of color, beauty, comfort I can give away or keep arises spontaneously.
Other than a few holiday sale supplies to make specific things for specific people, I’m steadfastly working through and giving away my stash to folks in need while postponing bringing new supplies into my life.
Constantly working toward a yarn stash balance and answering inner dialogue:
Q. “How can you simultaneously moan of financial strain while gathering making supplies?”
A. “Knitting is a zone of health and magic making that pays you back tenfold.”
There was a time I paid many times as much for therapy than yarn in a year, so if knitting pays off in ways therapy sometimes cannot, a little yarn goes a long way.
Here’s an oldie but goodie article that talks about health benefits of knitting. After I mail a knitted thank you to a friend for a December kindness, I’m going to make myself another cup of Gypsy Cold Care tea and knit myself back to health.